3 Tips for Teachers in Answering Emotional Parent Emails

The past couple of weeks I have had a few teachers reach out asking for support in answering parent emails. While each of the teachers had different scenarios, they all had one thing in common. They wanted to communicate their points clearly to create understanding and reduce the emotional tension with the parent.

Here are three tips for teachers to use while communicating to emotional parents via email.

1. Understand what the parent is asking

When a parent contacts you about a concern over their child, they are looking for answers from you to help their child succeed. They see their child struggling, with no clear pathway to help them. They are an emotional mess because they feel helpless in supporting their child. This tends to lead to one of those emails that crushes your soul because you have been working tirelessly with teaching, lesson planning, grading, giving feedback, going to professional development meetings, meeting with different team members, listening to observation feedback, learning the newest technology or teaching method, and the list goes on.

Remember, parents do not want to "fight" with you. Just as you don't want to "fight" with them, so don't go on defense. They want to help their child succeed, sometimes at all costs. They are emotional about their child not meeting expectations. You are emotional about their attacking email. Once your emotions are in check, re-look at the email for what the parents are truly concerned about.

Write down, as simplistically as you can, what the parents really want.

90% of the time parents want support in getting their child meet expectations. While it may not seem like it at first, most of parent requests are reasonable and should probably be happening anyways. It may be something that you forgot to do, which is okay -- you are human. It may be something that parents need support and guidance to do at home. It may be a new routine that the student needs to implement to help them succeed in learning the concepts more.

Once you subtract the emotion from the message, it will become more manageable to answer and find positive solution for the parents and student.

2. Be Clear

Berne Brown says, "Clear is Kind." No one, including yourself, wants to read a lengthy essay email -- EVER! Clear communication allows for the reader to fully understand your message.

Write down bullet point answers, before constructing a full email. This will help you remain clear as you flesh it out. Sometimes even keeping some of the message in bullet point format helps keep the message simple and easy to read. If you see that your email is growing with important details, then it might be best to offer a phone call or a conference where you talk more in length about the issues. Parents typically appreciate the offer and learn more from these types of conversations.

3. Write it and wait

Most schools have a 24 hour policy in responding to parents. You do not need to rush sending out a response email, especially if it is filled with emotions from the parents. Write your email and wait until the next morning. Waiting a few hours gives time for both you and the parent to fully clam down. Re-read your email in the morning to see if there is any hidden emotion still left from the pervious day. Check to see that you are truly answering their concern, or on the pathway to finding a solution with them.

Remember both teacher and parent are on the same team. You both want the child to meet expectations and to be happy. Their emotion is a plea to you for support in helping their child succeed. Understanding what they are really saying, being clear with your response, and giving some time between receiving the email and sending the reply will help you communicate more effectively with your parents.