So, you had a bad day. It's ok. Take back control!

We all have those bad days when you wake up grumpy and no matter what you try to do during the day it just doesn't work. We then start the negative self-talk, which can lead to an even worse day.

This post is a day late, because I had a bad day -- or at least my brain had a bad day. Yesterday's goal was to send Christmas gifts to my family in Germany and Connecticut. I purposely set aside time during the week because I knew sending these gifts were going to be mentally difficult. I found a site called Parcel Monkey to ship the package to Germany for a cheaper price then going to USPS. Plus, they came and picked up the package today, SCORE! However, I did not send the package to Connecticut. While I found an awesome way to send packages to Germany, I just couldn't mentally fill out another form to send the package to Connecticut. I had failed at a seemingly simple task of shipping a package. The negative self-talk started flowing; thoughts about how I failed at having a job, a family, and seemingly anything meaningful overwhelmed my mind. Trust me it was NOT a fun journey down Negative Lane.

It took until 4:30pm to pull out my Self-Care plan to look at tools I could use to bring me back to Positive Land. One of the tools I wrote down to help create different perspectives (or to clear your mind) is to go for a walk. Walks help my mind stay focused and positive. However, it was already dark (one of my major reasons why I am not a fan of winter time), which made me feel like I a failure again. We needed to buy some groceries so the next best option was to go to the store. While we were shopping (Joey, my significant other was there with me) I had a craving for a mojito and some tacos! So Joey helped me make it happen. We got mojito and taco fixings! It was amazing! We had a great time putting together a feast for two! And just like that, I was out of my funk.

So what happened? How did a yummy meal break me out of my mind's jail? I took back control. Picking out the food, having fun making the food, and enjoying it allowed me to be in control. I narrowed my scope of control without even fully thinking about it. This allowed me to successfully accomplish something and feel good about it.

The important take away is to keep a healthy balance between Negative Lane and Positive Land. The ability to look at a situation and say to yourself, "I can do (fill in the blank)" allows you to start taking back control of your mind. In Negative Lane, your amygdala (the place in your brain that says "fight" or "flight") gets hijacked by the negative chemical reactions. It doesn't allow you to reason with yourself (that happens in your neocortex). You can't tell yourself "Hey, come over here to Positive Land", because your amygdala as declared that you are in a dangerous situation. This is when you need to start taking back control.

Here are a few actions you can take to regain yourself:

1. Control Circles: Draw a venn diagram. On one side fill out the things you can not control. On the other fill out the things you can control. In the middle fill out the things you have influence over. Then take a small item from your control side and do it!

2. Give your negative self-talk a name: Your negative self-talk is not who you are. If you give your negative ninny a name, you have separated yourself from the negative ninny and you can start talking back. You have recognized its flaws and can start replacing the negative thoughts with more realistic positive outcomes.

3. Change your environment: Getting out of the house, cleaning something in your house, whatever it is -- changing your environment gives you a concrete action that you controlling. It allows your neocortex to take over in other areas that your negative thoughts aren't clouding. Slowly your negative thoughts will subside, because you aren't focused on them and you are not pumping your amygdala with more chemicals.

4. Do an emotional self-check: Ask yourself questions such as -- What are my thoughts? What are the names of my feelings? What do I really want? Why? How can I get out of my own way? What am I going to do now? These questions can help rebalance your mind, allowing the neocortex to start making decisions again.